CPHx3 #470 Run Report
Twelve hearty Hashers checked in at the registration table in Tongzilin on Sunday, January 10th for the CPHx3’s first run of the 2016 Hashing season. The low numbers were likely due to the recent high pollution levels, low temperatures, the morning rain and the lack of a backbone (shared by the many who did not attend). Had the many no shows lifted their soft, waxy, overweight bodies off their couches and ventured outside properly attired, they would have been surprised to realize that in addition to sharing a zest for life amongst the assembled attendees of the Hash that the pollution levels were down, the rain had stopped and a blue sky was soon to peek out from behind the clouds at our run destination in Wen Jiang.
On the bus during the one hour ride out to Wen Jiang the two virgins in the group, Just Jo (made to cum by Just Stewart I) and Just Stewart II (made to cum by Floppy Cactus) were given a tutorial on the day’s run by Just Stewart I, the lead Hare in a triumvirate of Hares which included Cum in a Bottle and Four Lips. This lesson was administered on the bus so that the time spent in the opening Circle would be shortened to allow for more day light for the run and closing Circle. Just Stewart assured the assembled Hashers that the trail would be well marked and possibly even “over marked”, a comment which proved that he is somewhat prone to be a wee bit loose with the truth, or as Four Lips would say, “Fucking Liar!”
此次活动只有两位，即Jo(受Stewart之邀）和Stewart(受Floppy Cactus之邀)是第一次参加我们的活动，作为兔子(Cum in the Bottle和Four Lips)之一的Stewart为了节省时间，我们在大巴上向大家介绍了此次跑步的情况， Stewart极有把握的吹嘘路线标记非常明显甚至有些“过 了头”，但最后事实证明该说法毫无依据可循，用Four Lips 的话来说就是“妈的骗子！”
After the bus scraped under a (thankfully not “live”) wire strung across the road just 500 meters away from our destination, there was the aforementioned short(er) Opening Circle and even shorter loo break for those who had the piss scared out of them at the prospect of being electrocuted on a bus in the middle of rural China. The run was an “A to A” run and with a cry of “On! On!” the pack was off. The trail meandered along a bike path next to a surprisingly quick flowing river. The day’s run itself was more of a “runners” trail as most of it consisted of paved trails suitable for biking. The only thing that slowed down the lead pack was the lack of adequate marks as the rain the night before had rendered most of the Hare’s efforts in trail setting from the day before moot. Luckily, because of the cooler temperatures, the trail was not crowded with bikers nor walkers for that matter. There were several fishermen along the trail who shouted out “hello!” when they witnessed the odd sight of people running along and seemingly enjoying themselves.
当大巴在险中求生后大家下了车，但在跑步之前有憋不住的去放了水，主要原因是大巴之前困在电线挡道的乡间小道。此次跑步是A到A随 着On On 一声呼喊，跑步活动就此开始。路线是沿自行车道前进，旁边是湍急的河流。此时的自行车道更像是跑道。唯一阻止大家前行的 是标记，之前的一场夜雨冲掉了大部分之前兔子辛苦做的标记。塞翁失马，由于湿冷的气温，路上的人车都少得屈指可数，偶尔见到垂钓 的人朝跑步的人喊着 “Hello”,搞不清楚为什么这群奇怪的人在如此寒冷的天气如此享受跑步所带来的乐趣。
After being led down a few false trails by the Hare’s themselves (who were apparently lost on their own trail), it was decided that Just Stewart I would run ahead to remark the trail. He was never really able to out run the “front running bastards” and with a run that clocked in at over 10k it really didn’t matter as everyone who came out looking to get some running mileage in, definitely had their needs met.
In the Circle after the run the usual amount of “down downs” were drank, piss taken, abuse hurled and accusations leveled. At the end, we had a naming ceremony in which Just Stewart I was given a new Hash name and his head was used as a mixing implement to make jia-zi with a “recipe” calling for flour and beer (it was noted by Boo Yaa Yaa’s that it was unfair that he was bald as the dough would be easier to wash out than it was for her, she had a good point and the flour and beer probably should have been poured on his legs as he is so hairy that it looked like he was wearing leggings under his running shorts). He will henceforth be known on the Hash as “Free Hanging” which is apparently a reference to what’s going on under his kilt.
跑步结束后的集合大家喝酒、放水、彼此之间的打闹升了级。最后大家为Stewart举行了命名仪式，他脑袋上的啤酒和面粉凝固到了一起。（但Boo Yaa Yaa 说那不公平，因为他是光头，洗掉头上的东西实在容易之极，当时她花了一个多月才洗净头上黏糊糊的东西，啤酒和面粉应该往他腿上泼，因为那儿的毛比头上多多了。）从此之后他在Hash的名字就是“Free Hanging”了，因为苏格兰男人都穿格子裙。
After the Circle and after the bus successfully limboed back under the low hanging wire, the ride back to town was made a bit livelier when Free Hanging, in a decidedly celebratory mood, uncorked a bottle of Dalwhinnie, a tasty Scottish Single Malt from the Highlands of his fatherland. Well played Free Hanging, we’ll “hang” with you anytime!
活动结束后大巴成功越过电线带我们回到市区，情绪高涨的Free Hanging 开了一瓶威士忌以示庆祝，别忘了他是苏格兰人！
Upon downing the bottle of scotch and returning to town, a hearty group of eight adjourned to the rabbit restaurant, Zhuan Zhuan Mo, to enjoy some of Chengdu’s finest food and to “rehash” the days events which, satiated with more beer, became bigger and bigger lies as the evening wore on.
The next run is scheduled for Sunday, January 24 and our Hares will be Hardly Hard, Short Steep Shaft and (hopefully) Dirty Harry. This will be a “Metro Run”. Which means that we will be meeting at a Metro Stop (to be announced, but likely to be Shipu) and running directly from outside the stop. This will be an A to B trail ending at a restaurant for the Circle and a meal (but a close distance from the Metro). Those not joining for the dinner will have the opportunity to head back into town on the Metro after the run, those staying will eat a meal (extra charge) and then head back, also on the Metro. Stayed tuned for more information – On! On!
下次活动时间是元月24日，周日，兔子是Hardly Hard, Short Steep Shaft 和（极有可能加上）Dirty Harry. 这天的跑步将是在地铁线附近的跑步，也就是说我们集合的地点将在某个地铁站（很有可能是犀浦地铁站），然后从地铁站出发开始我们的跑步活动。跑步将是A到B的跑步，我们将从地铁站出发，终点将会是某个餐馆（集合并用餐）。不用餐的各位可在活动结束后乘坐地铁回到市区，用餐的各位将在用餐结束后乘坐地铁回市区。更多信息敬请期待。– On On